Navigating Friendships in Your 20s

Hey hey, how are we doing pals? Happy Monday!

I recently popped on a podcast discussing all things navigating your 20s from starting a business, all things dating, the shitty side of social media, friendships and my journey to sobriety, which you can listen to here. I was inspired by this and wanted to jump deeper into all things friendship in your 20s, from losing and making friends in your 20s, friendship green and red flags, and my tips on being a good friend. Let's get to it, shall we?

In your 20s, everything can feel unsettled, and this includes the dynamics of your friendships. Approaching the age of 25, I've noticed a significant shift in my social circle. Many of the friends I once had during my early 20s have drifted away. It's a common challenge in friendships: as we grow, our lives, values, and interests evolve, and so do the connections. Over the past year, I've experienced the loss of many friendships, likely due to the changes happening in both our lives. For instance, my priorities have shifted – I no longer go out and get drunk, I'm no longer in a committed relationship, I've embraced living alone, and I'm focused on building my own business.

I have also gained a couple of really great friends in the last couple of years, all of whom I didn't see coming. This includes an eclectic group of friends, from a pal I met on one of my solocaytions last year, who recently came down from Manchester to spend the weekend with me, another pal who messaged me last year saying she loved one of my blog posts, who I now see every month and is one of the most supportive friends, from a friend who I met in Bali two years ago, where we bonded over wellness things, even so, who popped over this weekend. As well as having a couple of online pals, who are the most supportive queens when it comes to my business and goals.

I have had to make friends over the last couple of years, and it can be both exciting and challenging. Here are my go-to tips to help you navigate this stage of life:

Find pals who engage in activities and hobbies that genuinely interest you. Maybe join a book club or try a Pilates class, pursuing your passions naturally places you in environments where you're likely to meet like-minded individuals. And these shared interests serve as a solid foundation for building meaningful connections and friendships.
Don't hesitate to take the initiative in social situations. I recently made a pal when in the gym, we shared the same machine, and I thought why the F not? I asked if she wanted to grab a coffee, and before we knew it, we had gone to a couple of yoga classes. Just remember that many people are also looking to expand their social circles, so don't be afraid to put yourself out there.
While making new friendships is important, don't overlook the friends you have now. Take the time to nurture existing relationships by giving them a call, reaching out to catch up, and showing genuine interest in every aspect of their lives. Treat them how you'd like to be treated.
Use social media apps to connect with people who share your interests or live nearby. I recently went for a tasty brunch with a fellow wellness business owner I met on IG and it was lush. We had a lot to talk about as we had similar interest, and were both looking for new pals. So get sliding into the DM's!

Like any relationship, friendships are all about give and take. I have had friends who were walking red flags, so I wanted to share some common green and red flags to consider when evaluating friendships:

Green Flags:

A good pal is supportive of your goals, dreams, and aspirations. I have had some ups and downs over the last year, and the friends who have celebrated my successes and offered encouragement during those challenging times are the best.
Trust and respect are a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. A trustworthy friend doesn't chat shit behind your back, they value your honest opinion and respect your boundaries and vice versa.
Effective communication is essential in friendships. One of my pet peeves is a bad communicator, whether that is a crappy texter or someone who doesn't discuss an issue that has arisen. Talk that shit through.

Red Flags:

If a friend consistently disrespects your boundaries, belittles your true feelings, or undermines your decisions in life, it is the ultimate red flag indicating a toxic dynamic between you two. Mt tip: get rid.
Friendship is a two-way street, but a self-centred friend may prioritise their needs and desires over yours, this can leave you feeling undervalued or unimportant in the relationship.
I hate unsupportive people. If you want to shoot for the stars, I am your no 1 fan. A pal who undermines your goals dismisses your accomplishments, or fails to provide emotional support during challenging times may not have your best interests at heart.

So finally, based on these green and red flags, these are my top tips for being a good friend.

When your pal is sharing a story or telling you information, make sure to actively listen. Give your full attention, ask questions and stop scrolling on your phone.
Be a supportive friend. Make sure to celebrate all successes and be there during those tougher times whether that be a phone call, a nice dinner out or a bunch of flowers.
Respect their boundaries and honour their preferences, for example, if they don't want to share about their relationship, don't push it.
If your friend is asking for an honest opinion, make sure to be real and kind about it. If not, be the supportive pal they need in whatever stage of life they are going through.
Make sure they can rely on you as a friend, whether that be keeping promises, keeping consistent with making plans to see them and if things change vocalising it.

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, if you did make sure to share it with a pal! Catch ya in the next blog post, until then keep up with The Life of Molly every day and check out my IG here!

Love Molly! xoxo