First Dates, Tinder Swiping & The Ultimate Ick List

Wassup, we have nearly made it through what felt like a year of January! I am currently writing this blog post from the comfort of my bed, as flu szn has truly hit. January has been one busy month, from celebrating New Year in Cornwall, fun-filled day trips to LDN for content days, pilates, and sushi dates, and a whole load of work, baths and hitting gym PBs! It has been a good start to 2024, and I have been feeling overall very positive!

As we slowly head into the second month of the year, aka love month, I wanted to discuss all things... dating. It has been a year since I was in a relationship, and over the last 12 months I have learnt that the dating scene is tough out there, it is not a picnic... and I wanted to share my thoughts, feelings and everything in between, for any fellow singletons out there this one is for you.

So First up, How to Prepare for the First Date...

After a hiatus of over two years, I have officially found myself diving into the world of first dates again – and shit, was it a mix of nerves and excitement! Not only was it the first time in ages, but I was meeting someone I'd only chatted with through texts, so was overall a bit apprehensive. And this date would also be my first ever sober date. Normally (like a lot of us) a cheeky cocktail would've calmed my nerves a bit, but overall it turned out to be a good experience, and was good to put myself out there.

My top tips:

1. Indulge in a self-care routine before heading out. I enjoyed a relaxing bath, tuned into a podcast, and just took a moment to unwind before my date.

2. Create a lively, confidence-boosting playlist to set the tone and get yourself in the perfect mood for the occasion.

3. Opt for an outfit that not only exudes confidence but also reflects your personality. The goal is to feel comfortable in your skin.

4. While on your first date, be cautious about excessive phone scrolling to avoid coming across as rude.

5. Embrace your authentic self, engage in conversation, and show genuine interest in what the other person has to say—even if it involves topics you wouldn't typically discuss.

To Use or Not to Use Dating Apps...

Tinder, Hinge, Bumble the list goes on and on and on. Do they even bloody work? Dating apps have advantages and disadvantages, which I have learned through my 20s, the pandemic and well... the digital age. A lot of my relationships were found through swiping on Tinder, but only once I got to know the guy was I attracted...

Pros:

• Dating apps give us a bunch of options, letting us connect with people we might not bump into in our everyday lives—especially for those of us who aren't out socialising as much, work from home, or aren't hitting up the local pub.

• With dating apps, it's super easy to chat with people whenever, wherever. They let you filter potential matches based on what you're looking for, saving you time compared to the old-school methods. It is all based on the algorithm. Scary right?

Cons:

• One downside of dating apps is that people often make snap judgments based on pics and short bios. It's all about looks at first, which can mean missing out on some important connections just because of appearances. And honestly, how can you tell someone's personality through a selfie?

• Online profiles only show a teeny snippet of someone's life. It's tough to figure out important shit like values and chemistry through a dating app. So, when you finally meet up, there's a chance things might not click as smoothly as you thought. And they might after be only one thing...

Lastly, The Ick List.... (Plz Don't Be Offended)

In case you didn't know what the definition of an ick was, let me share it with you.“Ick” is defined by Urban Dictionary as: “something someone does that is an instant turn-off for you, making you instantly hate the idea of being with them romantically.” R we ready?

Lack of Communication:

• Haven't we all been ghosted? Or been hit with the excuse of 'I am too busy', it just ain't the shit. Time to communicate properly, if you can't talk throughout a certain time, say it with your chest.

Being Downright Rude:

• Whether that be direct to you, a conversation about women (we have all been there, hello Barbie movie aka the patriarchy) or to a waiter/ member of staff. Major turn-off.

Brown Chinos:

• Not sure if this PTSD induced, but as someone who loves fashion, chinos give me the worst shivers, and I just don't like them. End of.

Is Self Centred:

• Aka doesn't ask about your day, your interests, your overall life. And only cares about him, himself and his life. Normally enjoy the sound of their voice.

Lack of Life Ambition:

• As someone independent, career-driven, and uber-focused on myself. We need to find someone to match that energy.

Follows OnlyFans Stars on Social Media:

• I’m here for sex positivity and empowerment, girlies do your shit. But if you are interested in me, you shouldn't be sexually looking at other females, let alone liking their bikini pics. They aren't going to date you. (Call it trust issues, if you want!)

Lack of Hobbies:

• If he spends all his time gaming, down the pub or with the boys. He isn't on the same level as me. Hobbies are so important for self-development, and being comfortable with your own company.

Believes It is Up to Their Mum to Do The House Work:

• If he can't make a bed, cook dinner for you, or use a washing machine...run. You are not meant to babysit the man you want to date.

Constant Sex Talk:

• Apologies Mum! But if a man only talks about getting physical with you, and can't have a proper conversation without mentioning 69. He is not worth it.

So there we go, dating in this day and age is tough AF. Not sure if I am cut out for it, but we shall see what 2024 brings. Until then solo dates, self-love and a whole load of independence are in store. But you can wait for the next post for that one... *wink wink*

This Month’s Vibe: Focusing on building healthy habits for 2024 from ice rolling to habit stacking, check out my recent reel series to find out more

This Month's Little Moments That Mean the Most: Spending time focusing on new things including Reformer Pilates and Hot Yoga

This Month’s Favourite: If you don't say The Traitors, have you been watching Tele? Seriously?

This Month’s Win: Running a 10k run in just over an hour, we smashed it!

This Month’s Rec: A new podcast has hit the scene, Transform, created by the co-founders of the wellbeing app Form is a go-to motivational listen

This Month’s Motto: If it makes you happy, it is not a waste of time

And that's a wrap! Catch ya in the next blog post, until then keep up with The Life of Molly every day and check out my IG here!