My Guide to Having the Best Break Up Ever

Hey there, how has life been treating you? April has been a month of reflection, a lot of events, an earring-making class, gym sessions and oh, I got THE dream job!! In all transparency, the last 6 months have been very tough, with an ending of a romantic relationship, job rejections and moving back into my family home. So shoutout to those closest to me who have kept me smiling, and been checking up on me, I am very grateful.

2023. 12 chapters. Let's do this.

I've been conflicted about whether to share my post-break-up journey and what I've felt, without being insensitive to the subject. However, after many coffee discussions with pals, listening to many podcasts in the bath and reading books about heartbreak, I have decided to share what I have discovered in myself and the process and wanted to share it with you- in case anyone can relate to the feelings.

So Heartbreak is Shit, Isn't It

Your self-esteem plummets, you lose your appetite, you miss everything about the person who was your second half, and you don't know whether to cry it out under your duvet binging rom-com on Netflix or enter your party girl era for the sake of distraction. It is tough. You are grieving. All you want to do is to reach out to the one person you can't reach out to. So how do you deal with this utter crapness?

My Top Tips When Dealing With Heartbreak:

Feel the feels. Since moving back to my family home, I have reached out to friends, I have cried to my mum, and I have journaled my feelings about this sudden change in my life. It is not healthy to bottle up those feelings, no matter how insignificant it can feel for you, let them out.
Be careful what you consume, it might trigger you. No, I am not talking about having a Mcdonald's or a boozy brunch, if this is a part of your healing process, go for it. I mean via content on Instagram (block that couple who post romantic reels), music (maybe stop listening to Taylor Swift's discography) and books (romance novels might just make you cry.)
Delete them off socials & cut all contact. This is a hard one, but you can't move on from that person if you constantly stalk them on the gram, checking if they viewed your story, or sending a late-night text saying how much you miss them. I would also recommend deleting all pictures & texts from your phone, go cold turkey. Revisiting reminders of them is literally like picking a wound, feels good at the moment but won't make it heal.
Don't go asking them for closure, the break up was the closure. With all this time wondering what went wrong, why didn't I see the signs, am I the problem? The break-up was the end, and you most likely saw the red flags at the start but ignored them.
The cliche 'the best way to get over someone is by getting under someone' won't work. We have all been there. You want to feel sexy and appreciated and even might want to metaphorically rip the bandage off by pretending you have moved on. You will most likely feel guilty, and crappy and not enjoy the experience.
Spend time alone and enjoy the single-girl era. After a long-term relationship, this was tough, as I always planned my day around my significant other. But think of hobbies you like to do, things you want to achieve each day and enjoy having the freedom to do it. Since the break up I have committed to the gym, spent a lot of time working on my personal blog, went on plenty of brunch dates with my gals and visited Amsterdam.
When you are ready, reflect on the whole relationship. No this isn't an opportunity to bitch about whether they didn't do the cleaning, or if they weren't into physical affection. List down the things you BOTH did wrong, and you will discover what you work on and what values you look for in your next relationship.
Entering your healing era. I started focusing on the shit that makes me feel GOOD & adding that to my daily routine, whether that be reading my book, hitting the gym, taking myself on a coffee shop date or going to an earring-making class. And make sure to date yourself instead.

Next Up, I am a Book Club Girlie

Inspired by this newfound independence and free time, and my love of a good book. I joined a local book club 'Chapter Chat', to make new friends who have similar interests and to read books I might not choose. This week I went to a fabulous countryside book club retreat, and it was amazing. This was a great opportunity to have some R&R, enjoy a local staycation in Cheshunt and meet like-minded people who love books!

The retreat itinerary included:

A book swap with fellow bookworms. I took the novel 'Really Good, Actually' and received the book 'A Song of Achilles', which I am excited to jump into during the summer months. During this book swap and introduction, we had these strawberry smoothie mocktails that were to die for.
A drinks reception and a Q&A with the author of the novel 'Wandering Soul', Cecile Pin. It was lovely to learn more about the book about Vietnamese immigrants and the connection of Cecile's family to the novel.
Supper and the film adaptation of the book 'Where the Crawdads Sing'. Dinner and my Nojitos were an absolute delight, I had sourdough bread with homemade houmous and the tastiest chicken with new potatoes, a perfect springtime tea.
A lovely night's stay at the Hotel 'Birch' in Cheshunt. The hotel screamed vibes, I loved the contemporary art dotted everywhere which really juxtaposed with the structure of the building. There was lots to explore on the hotel grounds including animals, they have a wellness centre and a co-working space. Plenty to do!
Breakfast and a Pilates class. I enjoyed a lie-in tucked up in my bed where I finished the 2nd book of the Seven Sisters series a friend recommended, then enjoyed a bowl of muesli and then headed off for a Pilates class which was fun to try, and I am definitely feeling it now.
A creative-writing masterclass with the author of the novel 'Hush', Kate Maxwell. I loved doing this as a creative being who loves to write. The task was to write a paragraph based on a postcard we got given, it was fun to let the creativity flow and there were definitely some creative writers in the group.
Lunch and a fireside chat with the author of the novel 'Wet Paint', Chloe Ashby. Lunch was yet again dreamy with bright salads and yummy cakes. This chat with the author was really inspiring and emotive, and it was great to hear different opinions of her novel.
And a goodie bag! I mean, who doesn't love a goodie bag? This included a Book Journal from Papier, books, Orelia Earrings, Hu Chocolate, skincare products, Free Soul capsules and non-alcoholic drinkies (that I enjoyed in my bath because I am boujee!)

This Month’s Vibe: Romanticising and capturing every little simple moment I live through, I am in my photo dump era

This Month's Little Moments that Mean the Most: Going on sister dates, bowling, mocktails and enjoying quality time with each other

This Month’s Favourite: The Podcast 'Note to Self', is all about navigating every stage of life and feeling empowered in this. Payton has also recently gone through a breakup, so it's very relatable

This Month’s Win: Being Offered the dream job at Goho! She's a working girlie!

This Month’s Rec: Spend one evening in May on a new hobby, last week I went to an earring-making class and loved it, it was fun to let the creativity flow and try something new

This Month’s Motto: People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime

And that's a wrap! If you can't wait another month for May's blog post, I got you! Keep up with The Life of Molly every day and check out my IG here!

Love Molly xoxo